Confessions Of A Girl Interrupted

Skinny love.

2012-02-09T12:53:00.008+08:00

Come on skinny love, just last the year
Pour a little salt, we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right at the moment this order's tall

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind And in the morning, I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind
Cause I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love, what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in light brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted
Then who the hell was I?
Cause now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

Happy lunar new year.

2012-01-23T13:39:00.003+08:00

万事如意全家乐
一帆风顺满堂春 (:

Wishing everyone good luck,
good health and prosperity,
in the year of the dragon!

Happy lunar new year (:

It doesn't feel like a Sunday.

2012-01-22T12:11:00.004+08:00

I'm here to visit my uncle.

There's a slight breeze in the air and today, the day is pretty sunny and bright.
I'll miss it when I'm busy and would hardly have the time to come here next time.

Chinatown comes alive.

2012-01-22T01:26:00.028+08:00

Tomorrow's Lunar New Year's eve!
And I'm staying up to make some water chestnut cake to share with the family (:

The recipe seems simple enough,
but I wasn't sure about where to get all of the ingredients because they weren't available at most grocery shops. Had such a difficult time trying to gather all the ingredients! Tomorrow when the cake has set (I'm typing this now after having taken the last one out of the steamer!), I hope they are well worth it!

.....

So, we went to Chinatown today,
partially to walk walk see see, join the crowd in somewhat late Chinese New Year shopping, basically bask in the festive ambience and partially, to try my luck at locating my very obscure ingredients (:

And of course, there's a dragon to usher in the year of the dragon!
Since it's my zodiac, I'm praying hard it's going to be my year :D

Walked by the many stalls set up in front of shophouses for New Year goodies,
to Chinatown's wet market to pick up chestnuts for the water chestnut cake and to visit the big temple at the edge of Chinatown.
I didn't realise I haven't been to Chinatown in a while.

And to add to the Chinese New Year festivities, water chestnut cake!

First time trying this, I don't know if mine will turn out as pretty D:

桂花糖! Oh, osmanthus syrup, why were you so hard to find!

Handpicked chestnuts, hohoho.

And the osmanthus syrup looked so pretty and was so fragrant!

Mix up all the chestnuts and the chestnut flour and the syrup and steam it!

I've just put in my last water chestnut cake into the fridge to set overnight (:
We'll see how it goes tomorrow morning when I wake up.
It's been such a long and fruitful day,
Happy Lunar New Year!

♥

Resolute resolutions.

2012-01-20T14:29:00.014+08:00

♥
Good resolutions;
I've told myself I'll try my best to live by them this year.
Not too late to make resolutions now, am I? ......

It's almost the end of January,
And the Lunar New Year is just next week, a very early one this year.
This year's new year means so much more, since last year I was having scones alone away from home while everyone at home was having pineapple tarts. I get to have my favourite pineapple tarts this year! And I'm excited to go visit this new year's, polish off pineapple tarts and bak kwa at everyone's homes and see some friends and relatives, both old and new (:

And you could say,
that this year is already proving itself out to be something.
I can't wait (:

"So this is the new year.
And I have no resolutions,
For self assigned penance,
For problems with easy solutions,

So everybody put your best suit or dress on,
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once.
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn,
As thirty dialogues bleed into one.

I wish the world was flat like the old days,
Then I could travel just by folding a map.
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways,
There'd be no distance that can hold us back."

Self-worth.

2012-01-17T03:49:00.024+08:00

♥10 truths of having a strong self of self

Someone close to my heart brought this to my attention a couple of days ago,
and it makes me think over and over,
how staying true to myself has been hard to do lately.

I think it takes courage to not yield to anyone else, to realise that you live simply for yourself.
And it makes me want to be a stronger and better person for the people I love.

Jibberish.

2012-01-16T02:18:00.008+08:00

10 things I hate about you.

2012-01-13T03:46:00.006+08:00

Thank you.

2012-01-10T01:59:00.048+08:00

And today, I know that all of that was not all was naught.
Thank you.

♥

......

Good tidings for the new year!

2012-01-01T20:41:00.000+08:00

And as the year comes to an end,

This year marks the year..

♥ I graduated with my hard-earned degree;
♥ Spent the better half of this year away from home and realising, hey we had fun! :D
♥ Feeling all the more like an adult ready to give back but knowing to be still young at heart;
♥ Definitely learned much more about myself so I get better at this thing called life;
♥ And when I found love, in the bf of 10 months now! (;

It's been such a whirlwind, hasn't it?!
(Did I say that last year? Well, this year was a lot more whirlwindy then!)
And that whoa, to have come to the end of it, it all passed by so fast! D:

And being very thankful, that every year, I get to do much more than I expect to,
traveled, saw so much and been through so much more with love,
having so many over-the-top, unforgettable memories to keep,
lost some things, but am lucky to have gained others as well,
to be blessed with good friends, good things and good health,
and definitely accomplishing a lot on my own, more than what I did before.

So, I'm proud of all the merry little things this year,
While teaching myself to always focus on the good and forget the bad.
All I have left to say is that it has been nothing but an awfully good year,
and I hope that 2012 will bring better tidings and more good times for all of us! :D

......

I love fruitcake (:

Christmas dinner this year, at home.

A santa on our quiche.

公公 & 婆婆 enjoying dinner!

And saving the best for last,

Have a merry little happy new year! (:
♥

Festive cheer.

2011-12-24T03:15:00.035+08:00

The festivities are a good thing this year.

And I'm glad to be keeping myself busy with so many things;
♥ Last-minute Christmas shopping,
♥ Friends and family gathering together,
♥ Heading out to see the Christmas lights in town,
♥ And wrapping things up for the end of the year.

Hosting dinners especially, is keeping me so busy but yet so fulfilled this holiday season (: Though this year, the presents under the tree aren't as many as I have hoped for (haha!), I have special memories with some friends and even more memorable ones with a certain someone, who all constantly remind me that there are better things to look forward to once this year comes to an end, and when the new one starts.

So I baked exceptionally much much more end of this year, than any other year, for those who matter (:

Gingerbread men were in the kitchen this past weekend!

Ingredients, as always essentially needed.

And there was brown sugar and butter and caramel pudding mix.

Flour, cinnamon and plenty of gingerrrrrr.

Lots of arm-toning mixing.

And more stirring.

Tender loving care to knead the dough and cut out manly man shapes.

Looks like mass production of men.

I wanted mine with a six-pack like those A&F models but they were so difficult to do.

And then you pop them into the oven!

Generally, you need hot hot heat to make smokin' hot men.

They magically become fat.. like my dad after marriage.

And some break an arm or leg. Ouch ):

And the rest get dolled up to be real pretty men! :D

Hope everyone who got the men were happy! (:

......

And on to cinnamonapplecrumblepies ♥
I baked a grand total of 3 this week! (:

The pie crust.

The apples, cored, cut and tossed with nutmeg and cinnamon.

The oat crumble.

Combine all three..

And voila, ready to go into the oven!

A baked cinnamon apple crumble pie! :D

/stomach cheers in holiday happiness
♥

A piece of cake.

2011-12-15T02:32:00.001+08:00

Life really hasn't been a piece of cake.
So I thought I'll bake to make myself feel better, just like I did before.

First attempt so far, on the rainbow cake!
And I think, it's been a long while I've baked anything at all in the kitchen since I'm back.
So, here starts the therapyyyyy (:

Ingredients ingredients.

Beat beat beat, beat the butter and the sugar.

Throw in the eggs. Yay.

Stir in the flour for cake batter.

Colourful cake batter.

And I forgot about the yellow ):

One layer, one colour.

Then another.

And another.

And the last!

Fancy?

Hmmmm.
Just don't ask how we finished it.

......

2011-12-13T16:25:00.007+08:00

Counting Thunder

2011-12-03T16:04:00.014+08:00

For several weeks the weather has been mild
And we have wallowed in this picnic sun,
(Our baskets stuffed with bread and wine) beguiled
By a string of buttered days, which one by one

Have lulled us into such complacency
That any thought of rain or want or cold
Would seem killjoy to a mind disposed to see
A clump of daisies nodding by the road.

But lightning flash upon the ridge portends
A sudden change of weather is at hand.
Caught unaware, we face the rising wind
And count the interval before the sound

Of thunderclap announces the return
Of darker times we had soon forgotten.
The dog cowers. The weather vane turns
Wildly, and we scramble forth to batten

Down the shutters banging out their warning.
No use pretending storm clouds won't draw near.
They're certain now. The anvil head is mounting
High above the things we've held so dear.

We light the lantern as clouds obscure the sun,
And gather frightened children in our arms.
The lightning flash and thunder merge at one,
And we hunker down beneath the raging storm.

- Robert Hass

Yesterday and Today.

2011-11-23T22:22:00.014+08:00

Snow.

2011-11-23T12:08:00.007+08:00

And I miss life when it was carefree and spent waddling knee-deep in snow, without a care in the world.

Twentythree for 23.

2011-11-19T02:41:00.009+08:00

So.. I can't sleep because I've slept in all day today.
That's why I sit up and think about what's in my head;

A list of things to be grateful for:
♥ the friends who matter,
♥ the family who provide all that I need regardless, and lastly,
♥ the boyfriend, who planned for such a lovely and unforgettable birthday last week (:

A surprise getaway at Wanderlust was in the books!
And my closest friends were there to have my birthday cake with me (:
A good dinner with my family, and a movie to end off the day..

.....

So, thank you, dearest Alvin for being the amazing person that you are,
whom I had to go all the way to Buffalo to meet;
but exceptionally much much much more for absolutely spoiling me this birthday!

You are so much more to me than you think (:

♥

Green fingers.

2011-11-03T00:41:00.035+08:00

Am now proudly in charge of the survival of this cactus, courtesy of the boyfriend (:
Its main purpose so far, is to brighten my room by giving it some "life", as dictated.
But it's been sitting outside on the balcony in order to get all the sunlight it can get, while it's hopelessly raining endlessly so far.

And on to other things at the moment, IT IS NOVEMBAHHHHHHHHHH :D
Oh my god, does time fly, although sometimes, life really does seem to have come to a standstill.

And while the end of the year is nearing, is another birthday coming up.
They say, or we say, after 21 years, there's always nothing much to celebrate! ):
The thing about turning old, you realise how important it is to really do what matters to you, that makes you happy.
Because I'm glad I did, and I think back on this year and I can safely say I had one of the better years, a pretty good one; Lots of changes all around, lots of people to thank and love, new things to do, explore, and to re-evaluate, in fact. I gave myself time off for things I've always wanted to do which was definitely self-fulfilling; traveling, enjoying the time I have to myself (:

"We all live with the objective of being happy;
Our lives are all different and yet the same."

Pretty much sums up life right now (:

8.

2011-10-30T02:11:00.026+08:00

Lying beneath the dark night sky,
While lightning streaks across and over.
The sound of waves crashing near the shore,
The taste of salt in the sea breeze;

Just about the best feeling in the world.

♥

Lazy.

2011-10-28T13:40:00.005+08:00

/Lazy like cat.

Wrong side of love.

2011-10-17T15:11:00.008+08:00

Let the good times roll.

2011-10-16T03:47:00.029+08:00

Come on sugar, let the good times roll. ♥
Thursday, 13 Oct. The sun, the sky and flying kites at Marina Barrage.

):

2011-10-02T16:42:00.007+08:00

I'm weak;
When it comes to you.
And lately, that isn't such a good thing.

Oh, another vacation please.

2011-09-27T02:16:00.021+08:00

So, didn't I swear I wouldn't fly in the next ten years.
But, Hongkong was fucking awesome (:
Glad you were with me eating dim sum and walking Ocean Park!
♥

And you asked me..

2011-09-05T02:33:00.011+08:00

Be contented;
To love and be loved in return;
Blessings.

So why is it such a difficult thing to be happy?

6.

2011-08-28T03:34:00.027+08:00

Oh there's gonna be some ups and downs,
But with you to wrap my arms around,
I'm fine.

♥

?

2011-08-20T17:35:00.024+08:00

- Courtesy of londonreviewofcakes.blogspot.com

Overdue.

2011-08-11T10:59:00.060+08:00

- At Marina Bay Sands, after the National Day parade and fireworks, 9 August.
happy birthday Singapore! (:

And yet, our nation, and my 姨妈 turns another year older!
But this year, is different.
This year, I'm back from the States a fresh graduate, having spent the better part of the year in Buffalo, NY.
I miss Buffalo, the traveling, seeing new places, the freedom and opportunities in a place where nobody knows me,
and I knew, that coming back home would be a different experience altogether.

.....

A week before I was due to fly home from New York, I wondered about how much things might have changed, how different life would be at home, and also how difficult it would be to adapt back to life in Singapore and the changes (like the weather!) that I know I wouldn't necessarily welcome back with open arms.
But open arms did Singapore certainly welcome me back with.

I would not forget just about a month ago, when I touched down at Changi Airport, feeling extremely tired from my long transit in Doha from JFK, but hearing a Singaporean accent greet me at duty-free made it all the more exciting for me to finally be home.

So some things have definitely changed;
Marina Bay Sands is all spectacular and rolling in the big bucks,
the cost of public transport has increased,
SOTA is now open,
the other half of our Circle Line is due to be opening soon,
I visited Marina Barrage for the first time last week and wow, was it fine,
no one told me Lido was given a makeover! (There's IMAX now?)
And there's also another reason to love my neighbourhood, Kim Keat more this time around.

But other things never do,
Like how humid the weather is,
Or how glamourous Orchard Road still looks,
Or how the teh si peng and bah chor mee at the local coffee shop still taste the same,
Or how we all still speak natively in a fantastic mix of singlish and hokkien,
Like how friendship with some of my friends never change despite 6 months apart,
Or, like family.

And I didn't realise how I've gotten so used to staying home alone or having friends over at my place anytime I wanted that I've forgotten how it was like to have a home-cooked dinner at home on weekday nights. Or how I used to love staying at home, but I'm more comfortable heading out to seek the company of my friends these days. Or how 姨妈 never fails to cook a perfect bowl of chinese soup that warms the heart, or remind me to have my meals on time: "今晚有回来吃饭吗?", "有带锁匙吗?", and also not to get home too late.
It's these little things, that I must have overlooked coming home to,
that always gives home the feeling I might or might not have missed when I lived away.

.....

So, happy birthday 姨妈，and happy birthday Singapore.
Because this is where I know, it's home (:

<\3

2011-08-09T17:41:00.007+08:00

"Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.
I hate love."

- R.W, The Sandman.

Boy.

2011-07-27T16:59:00.004+08:00

When we're high,
When we're low;
But I promise I will never let you go.
Said I got, I got, I got, I got your back boy.
I got, I got, I got, I got your back boy.

5.

2011-07-27T01:45:00.004+08:00

You're so good to me, I know.
And I want to be good to you too (:
♥

Goodbye Buffalo.

2011-07-22T14:31:00.018+08:00

I miss the States.
And I miss Buffalo dearly ):
But most of all, I miss the life we all shared there.

0845

2011-07-21T08:40:00.003+08:00

Will I wake to find you waiting by my bedside?
Will I wake to find you waiting by my side?

Home.

2011-07-19T10:00:00.001+08:00

Home,
Indeed I'm glad to be home.
But everything at home is so different now.

Duet.

2011-07-15T09:18:00.002+08:00

Oh lover, hold on;
Till I come back again.
For these arms are growing tired,
and my tales are wearing thin.

Coming home.

2011-07-15T03:52:00.003+08:00

I'm coming home,
I'm coming home.
Tell the world I'm coming home (:

4 in the morning.

2011-07-11T15:57:00.004+08:00

And all I know is, you’ve got to give me everything.
And nothing less cause, you know I give you all of me.

On my way.

2011-07-08T16:00:00.009+08:00

And it's sad but it's true,
I leave Buffalo today,
):

Everything's all packed,
my baggage is at a high risk of being overweight,
and my room has gone from a disastrous mess in the rush of the last few days,
to that almost-empty box I moved into this past January.

I'm turning in my apartment key right now,
and it already feels like I'm surrendering the key to a large chapter of my life,
locking it and leaving it behind.
♥

I can't sleep without you.

2011-06-29T14:59:00.003+08:00

but it's not the same,
when you're not here with me.

4.

2011-06-28T15:12:00.007+08:00

Thank you for being here with me.
Thank you for everything (:
♥

Ready to go.

2011-06-09T07:12:00.012+08:00

I miss Amherst, Buffalo dearly.
And my apartment,
and everyone I knew back there.

Time must not fly,
for I am having way too much fun.

It doesn't even begin to feel like half of our amazingly-massive-and-absolutely-death-defying-well-not-really-but-it's-still-ultra-exciting-fantabulous-and-oh-so-awesome tour of the United States has passed us by.

I WILL go home eventually, (when my finances run out).
And yes, I do miss everyone at home!

And it certainly hasn't begin to sink in that I have now graduated,
(new status in society: happily unemployed),
and I will, at least for a little while, not have project deadlines to answer to,
or have a morning lecture to run late into,
or have my lecturer give me an essay assignment that will ruin the weekend ahead.
Although I know, for sure I will miss all that in time to come.

So starts this journey,
and while the reality still has not sunk in yet;
I am about to hit the west coast this weekend.
But right now, I'm transiting at Philadelphia for Vegas! :D

So tell me right now,
You think you're ready for it?
I wanna know why you got me going,
So let's go, we'll take it out of here.
I think I'm ready to leap.

You.

2011-06-07T15:25:00.002+08:00

With you, it feels like home.

Time of my life.

2011-06-06T13:53:00.003+08:00

Congrats, Class of 2011!

And surely, but sadly, life in Buffalo comes to an end.
It's all over now, and we're all graduates (:

I've had the time of my life,
And I've never felt this way before.
And I swear this is true,
And I owe it all to you.

Yes, all of you.
Whom you know, I will keep in my heart for a long long time.
♥!

These past few months have been nothing short of amazing (:
I still look back on what Buffalo was all about,
the people I met, came to love and still enjoy all of your company,
the time we spent together,
the good and the bad,
and all of the plans we still have back at home;
and I know, for sure, I would do it all over again in a fraction of a heartbeat.

♥

I think I learnt to truly live life this time around, for myself;
And to make some pretty awesome memories with a couple of friends I will keep close to my heart for a lifetime.
Never have I thought of what would become of my time here in Buffalo and it feels surreal to see that we've all graduated and moved away. I feel like anytime if I go back now, everyone would still be in their houses and we would meet up at someone's place with our pork and our mushrooms and our rice and our sauces to cook a late dinner together tonight.

Thank you for making this trip truly memorable, each and every one of you (:
For being there always,
And for being such great company! :D

.....

I will miss all the good fun we had )':

One of the best memories I have, is definitely of us cooking at someone's place (:
Always tons of laughter,
someone being lazy and not helping out,
11pm dinners,
chapalang dishes,
"guys, wash up please since the girls cooked",
and who can forget Oppa with the pink gloves!

Seniors' brunch! (:
It was pretty,
the weather was great,
and all our polaroids in the sun!
Remember? (:
PS: We girls really look good with Oppa! :D

Trips to Toronto! :D
Weekend trip,
day trip,
day-before-exam trip;
All hail Queen's kuay and dim sum!

The day of the induction!
Thanks to everyone who came and attended the ceremony <3
It was everything I could have asked for;
Good friends, great company and a pretty awesome home-cooked dinner at the end of it.
Who would forget our drinking games at 2am!
I loved every minute of that day (:

That last week after school has ended and exams were over was one of the best I've ever had.
Niagara falls, shopping, late-night movies, even-later-than-late dinners, partying, hmm, more partying.
You name it, think we've done it.

.....

Ning;
Whom I feel like I have known since forever.
I'm so glad I met you here (:
I know I can count on you and you can count on me too!

Jem;
How we float on the same wavelength,
and how we can talk and laugh about the same things despite being so different,
and still get each other at the end of the day.
Thanks for being there all the time! (:

Mel;
You crazy woman.
I think fun times are a lot more funner with your antics.
Party and eat and party some more when I get back! (:

Oppa;
I miss you, your funny bone and that little white car already ):
I got you your Harry Potter's wand,
Promise more good times when we get back! :D

Alvin;
I don't know how much better life can be (:
Enough said.

I already miss all of you! ):
And school, and grocery shopping, and snow and and and.. my house.
And you know I'll miss coming down the stairs to find all of you doing something random around my kitchen,
crashing around in my living room making too much noise,
and all of us laughing at ridiculous, stupid things.

You know that I will remember these memories for a lifetime and more.

Take care and I'll see you each of you back at home real soon! (:

Where we stop, nobody knows.

2011-05-31T14:13:00.017+08:00

1 down. 6 more to go.
Let's fly.

Here we go, come with me.
There's a world out there that we should see.
Take my hand, close your eyes.
With you right here, I'm a rocketeer.

Boston.

2011-05-27T11:51:00.010+08:00

Boston, Massachusetts. 24 - 28 May 2011, Summer.

She said I think I'll go to Boston,
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start it over,
Where no one knows my name.
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I was tired,
I think I need a new town,
To leave this all behind.
I think I need a sunrise,
I'm tired of sunsets,
I hear it's nice in the summer,
Some snow would be nice.

You found me.

2011-05-25T02:30:00.006+08:00

Times Square, New York City. Thursday, 19 May. 11:48pm.

Lost and insecure;
You found me,
You found me.

Daisies.

2011-05-13T03:12:00.004+08:00

(♥)

Daisy, give yourself away.
Look up at the rain;
The beautiful display of power and surrender.
Giving us today,
And she gives herself away.

Ear drippy. Everything drippy drippy.

2011-05-08T08:49:00.006+08:00

Purple and purpose.
Quick jerk gives me power.
Maple we’re laying on laple.
Seal seal seals, like those in northpole wearing grey specs.
See I think I got to see you.
Fearherduster.
I don’t you don’t mean that.
Remember, seaweeds are soft.

Thursday, 5 May. 1:22am.

Dawn.

2011-04-27T22:26:00.015+08:00

"Get here at dawn.
Get here at the speed of light."

I feel like getting home by dawn tomorrow.

I want to be by your side.

Elephant Love Medley

2011-04-19T14:30:00.036+08:00

It snowed again today. Tuesday, 19 April. 1:50pm.

It's crazy to finally sit down and realise how fast time flies.
Only less than a month to graduation! D:

And Buffalo still amazes me in so many ways.
5 months and I'm so in love.
I know I will miss this place so horribly much when I leave, even when I constantly gripe about the immobility without a car here and how everything is so far away and that there is almost nothing exciting about being so far upstate away from the city.

I will miss the quiet,

the long, empty roads,

my room with a view,

the snow and the skiing,

the Buffalo winter which wouldn't go away even when it is Spring,

our huge campus which I have yet to discover all of it,

the beautiful sunsets of pink and orange here,

and all the people I have come to know and who constantly remind me how lucky I am to have come here and to be here,
to be carefree; to be happy and to find somebody I love and be loved by him too.

I wouldn't leave if I could stay forever.

You Set Me Free

2011-04-02T03:55:00.004+08:00

With you,
I have no sense of time.
It's like you blur my days together,
You, make the world stop.

Can't you see?
There's a feeling that's come over me.
Close my eyes,
You're the only one that leaves me completely breathless.

No need to wonder why;
Sometimes a gift like this you can't deny.

Cause I wanted to fly,
So you gave me your wings.
And time held its breath so I could see,
And you set me free.

Snow, don't go.

2011-03-31T05:24:00.028+08:00

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts.
And we are never, ever the same.

Last Friday,
Felt like it might be our last snow day here in Buffalo.

And then it dawned on me,
That I will miss days like these;
waking up to fields of white,
and tracing your footsteps in the snow.
When I finally do leave.

New York

2011-03-15T15:17:00.003+08:00

Good morning, New York.
Good morning, you.

I'm so in love I'm thinking I don't ever want to leave.

2011-03-15T15:14:00.001+08:00

How do you trust anything anybody says today.
This is so hard.
And you're not making it any easier.

Again and Again.

2011-03-01T07:00:00.010+08:00

Sunsets are so breathtakingly beautiful here.
I don't think I'll ever say that enough.
(:

5 o'clock and a fire escape symphony,
Spilling out across the road and the square,
And the sky's the same as your own, do you think of me?
Do the parks, and trees, and the leaves, reach you there?
After the rain, in the lonely hours he haunts me, calling out,
Again and again.

Hello stranger.

2011-03-01T05:49:00.017+08:00

"We're in this together," he said.

Maybe being scared is good.
Maybe this is how it should feel like.
---

Maybe, this time;
It's okay to be vulnerable.

. . .

2011-02-26T14:41:00.014+08:00

My bathroom seems like the best place to bury myself in deep thought these days.

Building walls around my heart to save me,
But it's time for me to let it go.

Right now,
my heart is full of questions.

Who Needs Shelter.

2011-02-21T04:06:00.007+08:00

Good-day sunlight;
I'd like to say how truly bright you are.
You don't know me but I know you;
You're my favorite.

Enchanted

2011-02-15T10:30:00.009+08:00

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.

It was sweet (:
♥

This night is flawless,
Don't you let it go.
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew,
I was enchanted to meet you.

Sunsets and Lemon Teas.

2011-02-09T06:58:00.005+08:00

I miss home the most when it's sunset.
And when it's 5am at home and you're all sleeping.

And I wish you sunrays and saturdays;
Perfect starry nights.
Sweet dreams and moonbeams,
And a love that's warm and bright.
Sunrays and saturdays;
Friendships strong and true.
Oceans of blue and a room with a view,
To live the life you choose.

Weekends.

2011-02-07T05:24:00.011+08:00

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
I'll sail the world to find you.
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,
I'll be the light to guide you.
If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep,
I'll sing a song beside you.
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me,
Everyday I will remind you.

I miss home ):
And you, and you. You, you, and you.
And you too.

You can count on me like one, two, three,
I'll be there and I know when I need it,
I can count on you like four, three, two.
And you'll be there.

- - -

2011-02-05T17:24:00.008+08:00

Sigh, life.

Scones for Pineapple Tarts.

2011-02-03T07:00:00.016+08:00

happy lunar new year to all at home!

Buffalo, on the other hand, had a huge snowstorm that closed classes for today.
Something to be grateful for this lunar new year :D

Life has been so busy here.
And I don't know if being too occupied is a good thing anymore.
I really just want to lie in bed all day!

Other that missing home,
I've been at this classes-lunch-assignments-laundry-reading-bath-sleep routine all week.
And today's snow day was no different. I woke just in time to welcome the lunar new year back at home on skype, and Mom's birthday (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY! ♥
I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU.

That being said, I miss rice and all of you at home so much you have no idea.
I want hot steamy watercress soup with honey dates and char siew rice and satay beehoon and fish soup and taohuay, please.
Here got taohuay or not?
And note, I do not want to see broccoli ever again in my entire life.

2 more days and I would have been here for a month!
Does time fly for you too?

Have a happy lunar new year, everyone.
Yes, I'm thinking of every one of you,
And please eat more pineapple tarts and ba kwa and drink more green tea on my behalf.
I love you all.
♥

Saturday Morning.

2011-01-30T01:44:00.005+08:00

Good morning (:
Today, we're going skiing.

California.

2011-01-29T00:58:00.004+08:00

We saw Attaboy on campus last week.
And it reminded me of you.

California, far from me.
Across the desert to the sea,
A million miles away to somewhere I don't know.
Lift my feet from where I stand,
Down the street to foreign land,
Anywhere you lead me I will go.

Amherst, Buffalo.

2011-01-22T04:21:00.044+08:00

Hello, hello from Buffalo.

Two weeks since I've been here! (:

Classes have started for the Spring semester this week. And so far, it's still winter.
We've had a lot of snow, inches and inches of it and I'm waddling in all the snow in my boots. Today when I got back in the afternoon, there was even snow on my front door handle. Someone, ask me how much I like it when the other day, we had -17C!

There's so much that's different here than back at home, I cannot say enough.
I've transferred my studies for my last semester over to UB's campus here in Amherst, Buffalo, a small suburban town in Western New York and boy, do I feel far away from New York City alright. It is VERY suburban, meaning we have hardly any public transportation here, everything is far and apart and everyone drives to get to the nearest supermarket or mall. It's a well, different experience living in snow, piles and piles of it and walking to school when it's snowing in your face, or eating ice cream in the freezing cold (:

Aside from all that snow, Buffalo can really be quiet and beautiful.

I'm staying in a house with 4 other housemates.
We each have our own rooms and I'm high up on the third level, with my own bedroom, a bathroom and a pretty nice view from my window of when the sun rises every morning and sets very early around 4pm.

Last weekend, we visited downtown Buffalo and passed by Delaware Park.
The park was far and wide, covered in tons and tons of snow which made everything glow in white. We made a couple of snow angels, and had a snowball fight. It was all pretty good fun :D

And it's a different feeling to be walking on the sidewalks when everything just gets buried deep in snow! D:

The same weekend, we drove near Lake Erie, stopping at Times Beach.
It was so chilly near the lake but the view of the area here was magnificent <3

We went there when it was almost sunset and it was deserted (:

And we were all on campus for orientation most of last week too.
It gets really dark by the time it passes half past 5 and I keep thinking it's really late and then I get sleepy.

Other than being on campus, we've been shuttling between Wal-marts, Wegman's, Targets and malls trying to buy bits and pieces of a home to settle in. I wish I have here everything I had at home ): I can't even bake now even if I wanted to!

And foooooddddd here, omg.
Cheeseburgers, pizza, subs and fries and chips and fries.. and more chips.
Chinese food is practically not existent here, or should I say good chinese food. Because the bastardised version of chinese food they have here, on campus and everywhere else is just too much D: Which also comes in large portions one of us cannot finish on our own so we share all the time. I still have not found good chinese food so far, only really good ice cream and pancakes in people-filled pancake houses. And oh, surprise, even though everything is sugar-laden around here, I suspect the sugar packs we add into our tea or coffee aren't really sugar because they taste like nothing. Everyone here just loves artificial sweeteners, Splenda comes in pounds. Everything else here also comes in huge, large, mega, family, club sizes, all the names you can use to describe "big". My deodorant is such a humongous thing of spray stuff it's comparable to a can of insectide at home and fresh milk comes in a gallon which I have to lug all the way home before my arms will break down and cry.

Some days, it just snows and snows and we get really chilly winds, like today, it was horribly windy at -12C while we were making our way halfway back from campus because the shuttle had stopped for the weekend. Having no car around here means our legs are our only means of reliable transportation and it's so much worse when everything is so far away.

This past weekend, we also drove out to sightsee.
This time, we were near Niagara river.

The river was fast flowing with pieces of ice floating down and while we were there, the wind was so cold our fingers and toes froze and hurt in the snow and our noses turned red before we ran back into the comfort that is the car.
I can't wait to go and see Niagara Falls (:

All that being said, I miss everyone at home so much.
It's a different thing to be coming home to an apartment alone, and cooking for one.
I really miss having someone around the house to share supper with, watch late-night TV with or just a companion in the next room when I'm rushing out homework all through the night.

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cause I've always wanted this.
It's not a dream anymore.
It's not a dream anymore,
It’s worth fighting for.

A new start, among other things.

2011-01-03T04:16:00.012+08:00

Happy new year!

It was the quietest end to the year I've had in a while, not that it was short of anything I wanted (:

Last year had been such a journey.
Can I say it was one of the most memorable year I've had? It seems to blend in very much with the previous year and well, most of it was spent in school, not to say I wouldn't miss it since I know I'll be graduating very soon this year. Too much happened during the year for me to remember but I guess I can be grateful for all the experiences this year, good or bad, that taught me to be a little better at this thing called life.

It always feels like I didn't do all that much, or accomplish everything that I would have wanted to,
but at the same time, it also feels like I'd done more than I had expected to.

So, I'm leaving tomorrow.
And today was a day well spent (:

Lunch at home today before I fly :D
谢谢姨妈!

Best friends came to visit and while it was only a single afternoon, I really enjoyed myself! Thanks Andrea, Daphne and Grace for the company all afternoon (: And then, Stephanie and Rose came by for a surprise! I really didn't see it coming and I found out later that everyone at home were all in on the surprise. Thank you, I have no words, the both of you are such, such dears! (':
I love you girls all so much and will miss you doubly hard <333

On to last-minute things,
PACKING IS SUCH A CHORE.
It seems easy enough to pack for a short holiday but make it a 6-month thing and packing requires sheer determination, perseverance and a hell lot of willpower. I had to take so many things out of my packed luggage I've lost count. I swear I'm not overpacking, really! If there were no baggage restrictions in the world, things would definitely be much easier. I might be exceeding the weight limit just a little and probably can't even lift my luggages off the conveyor belt on my own, so I'm about to go do another round of eliminating-things-from-my-luggage before I leave tonight.

And I'm spending my last night at home for the next six months!
Mom bought me durian because I was craving it and now packing needs all that energy D:

姨妈

2010-12-30T06:06:00.011+08:00

Those are the hands of my grandaunt; 姨妈 as how I would fondly address her since I was in kindergarten.
She really isn't my mother's sister, whom I am supposed to call 姨妈. She's my 姨婆, my maternal grandmother's sister, my grandaunt. I remember when I was young, reasoning with her whenever she corrected me to call her 姨婆 instead. I said: no, she is like a mother to me (:

My 姨妈 is a petite, kind lady who is damn garang in her own way.
Sometimes we talk until we argue to get our point across to each other. All that tension~
姨妈 and I were really supposed to be packing my bags last night but then halfway, I got frustrated and gave up because I still couldn't squeeze all of the things I want to bring to Buffalo in the luggage I'm bringing. Even with 姨妈's help all afternoon, it only seems my packing list is getting longer than ever with things I haven't packed. Then 姨妈 gave up too and went to sleep. But I was still feeling pretty awake so I went to disturb her and she got up to chat with me. I told her how I felt rubbishy tonight about everything and that I am damn nervous about going back to the dentist's to take out my stitches, how I haven't laughed heartily in what feels like such a long time cause my cheek is all stitched up and how I am not very confident about life in Buffalo alone.

She then tells me about her day, what she did around the house and how, when I was not home for dinner tonight, my brother had curry for dinner but then ended up staining his shirt, which she now had to wash. I realised I wouldn't know what to do if I ever got a curry stain on my shirt so I made a mental note never to touch curry when I'm in Buffalo or even if I do, to not be a clumsy klutz then. She seemed to have read my mind and reminded me that I didn't know how to cook, wash clothes, iron or even get out of bed on time if she isn't there to wake me up in the mornings.
I guess she's right.

My brother and I love to make fun of 姨妈's obvious love for 爱, that dumb Taiwanese drama on Channel 8 now, and how funny her broken english sounds. Sometimes, I tease her and say that she doesn't care enough for me and I feel neglected so I ask her if she loves me.
Me ：姨妈，你爱我吗？
姨妈：爱。。。
Me ： Are you sure？
姨妈： 舍儿~
In her broken english, I know she does (:

I love my 姨妈;
She is the best person in the world.
And she's going to teach me to cook porridge later.
I will miss her the most when I'm in Buffalo.

如果没遇见你会怎样，
是否能看见这片天堂?
你一直默默陪在我的身旁，
教会我坚强。

12:12.

2010-12-29T00:06:00.016+08:00

)':

Today, I feel worse.
And I don't know how I am going to get better.

Yesterday, I almost slept my entire day away.
Today, bestfriend came to visit for a while but I couldn't talk much or eat anyway so I just sat and listened to her update me about her life now that she's back, while I held an icepack to my cheek.

It's a week now.
I am suddenly so worried about leaving.
And it was just such, such bad timing to get dental surgery now I swear, not that I had much of a choice but right now I'm in so much discomfort I can't describe it. I don't feel good enough to go out since I haven't been eating or sleeping properly. Really, when all I want is just to spend a few good moments with everyone I'm going to miss when I'm away. I can't talk properly either because of the pain and I always have to repeat myself twice or something just to be understood; it frustrates me doubly now that I'm leaving soon ):

Mom asked today, if I didn't need to fly. Sighh.
I also don't know how to fly like that.
I'm feeling so down I just want to stay in and sleep in all the time.

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find,
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me.

Take Care

2010-12-23T02:53:00.015+08:00

It’s funny what leaving does to you.

I feel this sudden need to do everything I’ve always wanted to do at one go as though there isn’t time left for anything. I spend days pondering how different things would be over there, worry that there wouldn’t be my favourite soya beancurd or chilli crab. I'm about to run out for that bee cheng hiang ba gua, because I know that is going to be one of the things I would miss most this Lunar New Year. Splurge on Christmas gifts this year because I'm missing so many birthdays next year. Make time for the people I’ve almost never met in like a hundred years because suddenly, there’s this irrational urge to go meet up and reminisce about old times or something.

It’s less than 2 weeks, I think.
And suddenly, I have this profound appreciation for everything around me. I need to be home more, my mom says she doesn't even see me anymore. Just last week, I would name a random craving and the next day when I'm home, whatever I had said I was craving for would be sitting on the desk in my room, courtesy of mom. This week, I feel so distant to everything I think I am almost convinced I'll be okay in Buffalo on my own without good chicken rice and satay and koi cafe and mom's feel-good hugs for half a year.

...

I haven’t packed at all.
I had a dream the other day I forgot to pack my luggage and no one reminded me until I was leaving for the airport and so I left with only the clothes on my back and a half-empty suitcase with hardly anything in it. Might be a little bit early to start freaking out but then you know how I am such a last-minute person and I tend to be very forgetful in times like these.

I'll take care of you,
Have faith that when you call my name;
I'll be there.
And I'll be right there.

Tree,

2010-12-19T01:37:00.026+08:00

... I will miss that tree.

Everything seems so abrupt,
once the most difficult, toughest, backbreaking, mindnumbing semester in this life is over.

I feel like I missed November D:
But wow, this year really seem to fly;
And now it dawns on me,
it's already less than a month away!

So life has been pretty alright so far.
Things to be done and get done, really need to be done before we all sing Auld Lang Syne.
Christmas is around the corner and the end of the year does seem a little quiet for me, not that I'm complaining. There's so much to catch up on, things I want to do and plans to follow through. And the big big beloved tree there outside my room's window, which I will dedicate this post to and which I'd lovingly call my own for as many years as I have lived here, which is literally all my life, has been cruelly chopped down one morning by the very people whom I suspect, is the devious and cunning and manipulative town council here with nothing better to do than to viciously attack the innocent. I woke up one day and was horrified to find my tree gone. RIP tree.

But this break feels so much sweeter because of everything in that crazy semester we've been through (:
There are days when I get up really late and then forget where the rest of the hours in my day went. That being said, I am getting really good at sleeping in. 5pm is the new personal record. I IS GREAT.

My grandaunt called me a pig the other day.
“This is life”, I said.
Sleep all you want! :D

Blurry.

2010-10-31T16:37:00.005+08:00

Days are blurred together.

Too much work too much work too much work.
It's pretty scary busy around here.

Even If It Kills Me

2010-10-24T01:45:00.017+08:00

Saturdays are for sleeping in;
because by the time the week is over,
I think I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep my life away.

Today, I slept till 3 in the afternoon.
I can't seem to get up in the mornings anymore.
Every week feels too long.
It's such a chore and I'm too tired.

September is long over.
And now it looks like October will fly by too.
November, slow down.
I need more time.

I wish I had, I want a week off everything.
Just a week would be fabulous.

But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight,
And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight.

Happier

2010-08-29T00:35:00.005+08:00

So this was time spent; before fall really starts.

Time to laze away hot and humid afternoons with nothing to do,
to catch up on all the overdue stuff,
stay up too late, wake up too late,
sleep too much, eat too much,
do all that does not really need to be done,
and leave out all the rest.

I made grapefruit sorbet (:
So much, it was enough to last more than a week.

I really wished I had set some time out to bake though.
I could well have forgotten how therapeutic it was to just spontaneously go into the kitchen,
find whatever to bake with and just pull out a recipe or two and try something new.
Nevertheless, baking will still be a first love. I'll find time.

Do it even though you can’t stand the pain,
Do it even though there’ll be no balloons nor champagne.
No flowers for you;
But rain.

I bought myself some vans.
Oh, finally! :D

I FOUND VANS IN MY SIZE. That should be cause for celebration!
Blue is the new thing filling up my closet this year.
Crazy, it seems. Because I never used to be much of a blue person. Like in the colour sense.
But I like this change.

Lie to convince me, that I'll be better off.
Oh, you go on and I'll be happier,
I'll be happier.
You go on, yeah, you go on;
You'll be gone and I'll be happier.

Baybeats was last weekend.
It was such a pity I couldn't stay for a show.

I miss drowning in music.
Funny I would say that, because music has and always will define me one way or another. It's a very good friend, indeed (:

Remember when I used to love punk rock? Oh god, the black and the skulls and the band tees - ~~don't remind me.~~
And when we would go to all these shows where our friends had gigs in the local scene?
I remember.

Oh, and it seems I'm into rap, dance, hip-hop today.

Do you remember,
Do you remember,
Do you remember,
All of the times we had;
Let's bring it back.

The Youth Olympic Games was all the rage last week.
We got tickets to a game, Rose and I.
The Women's/Men's Handball Semi-Finals at Suntec Convention Centre.
Men's: Singapore vs. Cook Islands.

And did we have a good time (:
I feel most proud of Singapore in moments like this;
Seeing the national handball team score goal after goal,
And for our country to have the honour of organising an international event this big. So we were both sitting there in the spectators that day, getting really excited whenever our team scored a goal and cheering on Singapore with so many others like us.
Makes me never want to leave this place.

Oh, and the score? 32 vs 18. We won!

You know I know how,
To make 'em stop and stare as I zone out.
The club can't even handle me right now,
Watchin' you watchin' me I go all out.

And then, I had a "myself" day.
(:

Turned out, everyone I made plans with on that particular day bailed on me one way or another.

I went to the library,
got to be a reading slob at Coffee Bean for hours,
watched a movie and almost had the whole theatre to myself,
and it all turned out to be pretty good fun.

Then I got home and even had the house to myself that night.
So I made myself dinner: Spaghetti with ham and cheese and proceeded to happily pig out in front of the TV with the volume on high.

Just know that you're not in this thing alone;
There's always a place in me you can call home.
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart,
Let's just go back, back, back, back,
Back to the start..

Oh, Snow.
Hey, kitty where are you?

I don't think I've ever mentioned her here.
The stray cat near our bus stop, a beautiful grey and white.
She recognises people, nuzzles into your leg when you come close and presses her head into your palm when you touch her.
She gets food from me when she's lucky I see her on the way home. I like her so much I really want to bring her home.

But I haven't seen her in probably a little more than two weeks now ):

So leave it behind,
Cause we have a night to get away.
So come on and fly with me,
As we make our great escape.

And it still doesn't feel enough.

Why can't I have just one more week?
And then, maybe I'll just be ready for 5-day classes again when Monday comes around.

Driving by Windmills

2010-08-15T02:04:00.011+08:00

Summer is over.

And I think about,
going off somewhere far away;
of spending afternoons in an open field,
sleeping under the bright blue sky,
and whether it would rain.

and just maybe,
someday living by a field of green tea,
in a little red house by a river.

Enough to let go.

2010-07-29T17:17:00.009+08:00

Breathe it in,
And let it go.

When times are hard,
I wish people weren't so complicated,
That things weren't so difficult to understand.

Either way, life throws hurdles at you that you're supposed to jump over,
not run straight into it,
fall over and cry.

Every breath you take is not yours to own;
It's not yours to hold.

If you'd known..

2010-07-28T19:24:00.008+08:00

It was nice to wake up to breakfast.
And then I had a migraine that came back worse than last night, urgh.

Exams are approaching in a week ):
...
Fast forward next week, please?

Hang on, help is on the way.

2010-07-23T02:39:00.010+08:00

Hold your own,
Know your name,
And go your own way;

I should learn to be a person who is a little more carefree,
wouldn't get hurt so easily;
does not take everything to heart,
wouldn't brood over matters too much..

and maybe, is just a little bit stronger inside than she realises.

And everything will be fine,
Everything in no time at all.
Everything..

Quiet.

2010-07-16T15:54:00.008+08:00

I miss Seoul..

Among many other things.
And it doesn't seem so easy finding my way back.

"And it'll be just as quiet when I leave;
As it was,
When I first got here.
I don't expect anything,
I don't expect anything.."

A Short Journey

2010-07-05T11:59:00.008+08:00

"잠 시 동안 여행을 떠나 가슴 아픈 상처 닦아 내고서,
시간 흘러 그댈 만나면 보고 싶었다 네게 말해줄게.."

5 July 2010, 12PM KST.
Kangin enlisted today.

영운오빠
너 보고싶을꺼야,
나중에 보자..

Wishing him all the best,
to stay safe,
and to come back happy and healthy.
화이팅!

"널 사랑했던 이 내 맘이,
널 바라봤던 내 두 눈이..
기다릴게."

Happy Birthday, Leeteuk (:

2010-07-01T23:59:00.011+08:00

Because there's a need to wish him a very Happy Birthday even though I'm late on this post.

생일 축하합니다, 이특!
Happy 28th Birthday to Park Jungsoo, Leeteuk;
the special leader of Super Junior (:

That distinct laughter of yours will never fail to make my day a little brighter,
and I will still feel heartbreak ten years from now whenever I see you crying happy tears of joy;
Because you have no idea how amazing you are.

Or maybe you do.
♥

No Other

2010-06-28T01:53:00.008+08:00

너 같은 사람 또 없어 주위를 둘러봐도 그저 그렇던 걸.
어디서 찾니 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 사람 너같이 좋은 마음 너같이 좋은 선물.
너무 다행이야 애써 너를 지켜줄 그 사람이 바로 나라서.
어디서 찾니 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 행복한 놈 나같이 웃는 그런 최고로 행복한 놈.
너 같은 사람 또 없어..

Yes,
There's no other like you ~ ^^
♥

It's all I have to bring today.

2010-06-07T17:05:00.022+08:00

Yes, and happiness does not last long;
Didn't anyone tell you that?

It's all I have to bring today—
This, and my heart beside—
This, and my heart, and all the fields—
And all the meadows wide—
Be sure you count— should I forget—
Some one the sum could tell—
This, and my heart, and all the Bees
Which in the Clover dwell.

- Emily Dickinson

Life has been such a whirlwind this weekend.
And I feel so jaded today. ):

Oh, you.

2010-05-22T13:20:00.013+08:00

100521 Leeteuk's Twitter update - Super Junior's first win for Bonamana on Music Bank:
"1위인증샷!!!!!^^울었쪄염 ㅋㅋㅋ 행복하다...여러분들이주신상서중히잘간직할게요!!!^^♥"

I probably don't say this enough,
because I always get paranoid about jinxing up good things in life.

But,
I'm happy ^^

I think the last 3 weeks have been the best I have ever remembered in a really long while..

미인아..

2010-05-08T03:15:00.010+08:00

4집..
13 May ~
I'm ready! ^^

미인아..Bonamana.
Beauty, undoubtedly.

슈퍼 주니어..
화이팅! ♥

You Have My Attention

2010-05-06T01:40:00.029+08:00

Quiet now.
Your voice seems miles away;
But somehow I hear your song resound,
A little bit softer each day.
And from my tired heart, a little bit farther away.

* Another item to strike off my bucket list in this year alone:
To see Copeland live (:

I remember when I had first heard Copeland is no more.
The day they announced it, I cried.
So thank goodness for this farewell tour, the Asian leg.
First stop: Singapore!

I don't think I have ever loved a band so much more than awesome.
Heartbreakingly-beautiful songs I would die for,
I am almost afraid I would never find any other band like Copeland.
And I am so grateful I saw them live tonight.

The set started off with "Take Care" from one of my favourite albums, Beneath The Medicine Tree and closed with "You Have My Attention", one of my Copeland favourites. From alternative rock numbers to slow melodious acoustics, tonight definitely showcased the band's talents, both with their respective instruments and proving that they can indeed hold their own in a live show. Lead singer Aaron Marsh did not disappoint; his voice soared almost effortlessly and reached deep into my heart in every song he performed. This guy is a genius through and through; the lyrics he writes, the melodies he sings. He brought on the show with his guitar and stopped my breath with the piano. My favourite song has to be "Coffee" and I was so blown away when he sang it live. If I'd always thought what I heard on the album was beautiful, this has got to be so much better it was like a guilty pleasure.

Copeland, as a five-piece tonight, looked like they enjoyed being on stage so much that it made me pause occasionally to think why they would give it up after this. It was such a pity. I'll admit that I don't remember lyrics to probably half of the songs they performed, but each song struck a chord with me and I remember vaguely which albums they were from and when I had heard them.

You have my attention,
Like you’ve had all the while;
Since that first day when you made my heart smile,
With loving eyes and tired sighs that follow.

"Can I shake your hand?"
And he obliged.
A surprise meet-and-greet autograph session right after the concert (:
It was such a honour personally meeting the band behind the music I fell so deeply in love with, I was shaking. Each of them said "Hello" and looked you in the eyes, as if hoping to remember your face in that instant as they gave out autographs. I must say that I don't remember all of them by their names but their sincere and honest appreciation for their fans touched me and I felt such a loss walking off the stage, knowing that I'll no longer have another chance to see them live ever again.

I think I would have given a lot to see them live again.
Thank you, Copeland.
♥

I’ll sing along,
the whole night through.
While you sleep safely,
I’ll be thinking about you.

You have my attention.

Hello, Holiday.

2010-05-04T00:45:00.013+08:00

There's always a huge sigh of relief after every semester.
Another trying semester over and conquered.
(:

And then, the holidays come around.
Always a good thing, isn't it?

This week, I'm packing a suitcase.
And I'm going to Korea ~
^^

Bolero

2010-04-05T02:33:00.014+08:00

* 誰も君を責めやしない　
君は君でいればいいさ

What a year does to you.

When life gets too occupied trying to make things right,
our footsteps quicken in their pace and,
I lose myself so much more easily.

I forget about the things that matter the most to me,
the things that truly make me happy,
and the time alone which I often need.

So when I stop and wonder,
if the weather will ever clear up for brighter skies,
I'm always surprised at everything that has happened in between;
how time passes and how much has changed entirely.

The thing is,
despite it all,
I still haven't learnt how to comfort myself when I feel down.

* 聞かせて　愛しく儚く
つま先で　奏でるボレロ

舞い上がれ君の悲しみも
癒される場所に着けるさ

Mirror

2010-03-31T00:51:00.007+08:00

*

가슴아 너무 미안해 .
너도 다른 사랑을 하게 되면 ..
아픔을 잊고 살 텐데 ..

~

An ELF for Suju

2010-03-22T01:50:00.043+08:00

A short trip over the weekend in a long while.
To see Suju in their first Super Show 2 concert in Kuala Lumpur.

3 months into Suju.
Still can't express how unbelievable it feels as I got on the flight to Kuala Lumpur Friday evening. One more day to be right there in Malaysia to see the boys at their best (: Arrived late on Friday night as the pouring rain delayed the flight for half an hour. Mom tagged along for a short break and to do some shopping while I was away at the concert. It was my first time going on some half-planned trip without having a proper itinerary to follow but nevertheless, it was kind of an experience looking to get around by the public transport system and then trying to find dinner in a huge shopping mall before getting back to the hotel, almost 9 hours after our check-in time. Fell asleep that night to the sound of the television, knowing that the Suju boys were only a half hour away from where I was.

6 stops away from the concert venue.
The excitement started from the train station in the afternoon. The humid weather, a train that took 25 minutes of waiting to arrive and the train cabins were so packed with people, it even made it hard to breathe. An experience away from home, indeed. Almost 2 hours until the concert at Bukit Jalil and there were so many of us on our way :D Reality hits you just as you leave the train station to be greeted by a sea of sapphire blue surrounding the stadium's compounds right outside. Further away, you can hear random bouts of screaming and a stereo blasting Suju (:

7 rows from the stage on the left of the stadium.
I swear the atmosphere in the stadium is different the moment you walk in (: There's just something in the air. Seeing the Super Show 2 logo displayed on the big screen on stage just makes it all the more surreal. I was so dazed just looking at the huge stage and surveying the crowd filling up the stadium seats, I almost could not believe we were already there just as I sat down. After all the anxious efforts to get our hands on the coveted tickets, the excessively tiresome planning for a flight out and hotel bookings, spending a bomb on everything, unnecessary worries that SS2 in Malaysia is just a rumour, finally getting to see the Super Show tickets a week before we left and a seemingly long wait of almost 2 months, it seemed overwhelming to me that we all made it this far out to see Super Junior (':

3 whole hours of a huge party with Suju.
The boys were exactly how I had expected them to be. Each of them had their charm though we all had our individual biases (: The sea of sapphire blue among the tiers of audience filled the stadium with a beautiful sight as we all soaked in the atmosphere the boys had to offer. All their talents were greatly anticipated: singing, dancing, acting. Maybe all the fans wanted was just the least obvious: The display of love and friendship all the boys shared, which was silly at times, gave us all a good laugh but yet heartwarming to those who understood. At that moment, it was okay to scream, laugh, cry and sing our hearts out with all 10 of them. Yes, there were members who were unable to be present because of different reasons but the outpour of support for Suju that night was overwhelming. The boys looked like they had such a blast right there in their element on stage while basking in the attention their fans showered on them. In fact, I realised quickly it wasn't just Super Junior performing what they did best, it was a huge Suju party that included all of the audience, each one of the ELFs in the sapphire blue sea who share a deep love for Suju, that in fact, moved some of the boys to tears as they each expressed their gratitude and love towards the fans in their own ways. When it was time to show their appreciation for the support of ELFs, the love overflowed in sincere bows and genuine smiles on each of the boys' faces. I did not want it to end.

2 days over the weekend in Kuala Lumpur.
I wish I could have stayed longer. But I was glad for the experience and having the chance to be there to see Suju. I don't think I can ever say with any accuracy why I feel so much for Suju. Jem was responsible for pulling me into the deep sea that is Suju but there is a certain appeal to these boys that I would never attribute it to simply being a fan's obsession for an idol. I feel for them as if I had known each of them for ages, recognise all their quirks, love each of their imperfections, embrace their dorkiness and support all of which is Suju. All of which is worthwhile the moment one of them looks in your direction and nods. 행복 <3

So, 슈퍼 주니어, Thank you (:

For all that is worth, Suju, 화이팅! ♥

You Are The Only Exception

2010-03-14T02:34:00.009+08:00

Maybe I know, somewhere;
Deep in my soul,
That love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways,
To make it alone,
Or keep a straight face.

+ You are the only exception.

Philosophy in Warm Weather

2010-03-02T17:09:00.013+08:00

Now all the doors and windows
are open, and we move so easily
through the rooms. Cats roll
on the sunny rugs, and a clumsy wasp
climbs the pane, pausing
to rub a leg over her head.
All around physical life reconvenes.
The molecules of our bodies must love
to exist: they whirl in circles
and seem to begrudge us nothing.
Heat, Horatio, heat makes them
put this antic disposition on!
This year's brown spider
sways over the door as I come
and go. A single poppy shouts
from the far field, and the crow,
beyond alarm, goes right on
pulling up the corn.

- Jane Kenyon

Ignorance

2010-01-26T15:18:00.018+08:00

Ignorance

Loneliness seems to grow with age.

My heart yearns for more,
and I get less satisfied with what I've got.
Too often, the very things I want the most all seem so far away.
Nothing is ever enough.

It's learning what to expect,
not too much from others, and not too little from myself.

And finding that there are many other things in life and in this world that are so much more worthy of my immediate concern than the little troubles that plague my mind today. People are still going to be who they are and there is nothing within my means to change that.

Suddenly, bliss seems so easy.
There's no need to cross deep valleys,
scorching deserts,
or raging seas.

I just need to understand.

Save Tonight

2009-12-31T00:43:00.004+08:00

Save Tonight

I guess this is the year you can say,
I started living,
then died just a little.
Drowned,
but resurfaced in time.
Learned a lot along the way,
but sometimes forgot the lessons altogether.
Stayed too long,
but moved along.
Discovered a lot about myself,
and made some long overdue adjustments.

There is almost too much to be thankful for this past year.
But I'm also more than glad the year has come to an end (:

<3 to the new year!

Christmas

2009-12-25T02:40:00.008+08:00

Christmas

Christmas dinner.
I cooked this year (:

My favourite time of the year, but this year is the quietest Christmas I've ever had so far. Am still very glad to have the little company I have and to be receiving all the love that never fails to go around (:

Merry Christmas.
<3

Words are falling from your lips like Christmas to my hips.
So dangerous, the strangest feeling of being.
I want willow trees and melodies and flowers counting hours,
Till he's breathing, leaving the rest behind.
Cause I’m full of love.
Like waves washes sands clean,
And the sun sparkles meadows green.
I want kisses and dresses.
A late night message that cradles, halos me to sleep.

Cause I’m full of love.
Yeah I’m full of the above.

Will the day be bright or cloudy?

2009-12-15T13:26:00.004+08:00

Will the day be bright or cloudy?

My best friend woke me up with a morning call today (:
And I got up early enough to have breakfast.

Will the day be bright or cloudy?
Sweetly has its dawn begun,
But the heaven may shake with thunder
Ere the setting of the sun.

- Emily Brontë

No Sunlight

2009-11-27T16:00:00.006+08:00

No Sunlight

When I was young,
Lying in the grass.
I felt so safe in a warming bath of sunlight.
Of sunlight.

Fast open sky, could do no harm;
Like an embraceful mother's arms.
In sunlight, in sunlight.
In sunlight,
In sunlight.

With every year that came to pass,
More clouds appeared til the sky went black.
And there was no sunlight, no sunlight.
And there was no sunlight,
No sunlight anymore.

It disappeared at the same speed,
As the idealistic things I believed.
The optimist died inside of me.
No sunlight, no sunlight.
No sunlight,
No sunlight.

No sunlight anymore.

Blackbird, fly.

2009-11-10T23:59:00.006+08:00

Blackbird, fly.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly;
All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see;
All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird, fly.
Blackbird, fly.
Into the light of a dark black night.

Happy Birthday to me (:
<3

The Girl at The Rock Show

2009-10-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

The Girl at The Rock Show

All the planning has come down to this! :D

Party In The Park (:
Food.
Drinks.
Music.
Frisbee fun.
Rock & Roll.

One afternoon only.
<3

Stay if you wanna love me.
Stay.
Oh, dont be shy;
Let's cause a scene.
Like lovers do, on silver screens.
Let's make it, yeah, we'll cause a scene.

Gravity

2009-09-23T00:27:00.004+08:00

Gravity

Something always brings me back to you;
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do,
I still feel you here til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love,
And not feel your rain.
Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while,
And all my fragile strength is gone.
Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see,
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe, though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.
You're on to me, on to me;
And all over.

Something always brings me back to you;
It never takes too long.